[... He smiles slightly at the question. It's... hard to think of himself as not being partly responsible now, after all.]
From what I've heard... this is just something that happens. A world nears its end, and the Helheim Forest spreads to it. Those that are left fight to possess the Golden Fruit... which is an item that's got near-limitless power. Essentially, whoever has it becomes a god. Once people found that out... a lot of people tried to go after it, to use it either for their own power or to save people.
I didn't. Not directly. The strongest Inves are called Overlords, and they and the Inves are what remains of the previous civilization to be taken over by the forest. When you eat a fruit from the forest, you're changed into one of those. That's... what happened to the previous leader of the team I was on, though we didn't know it until after he'd been killed. But the Overlords... they're not human. Most of them have been fighting for a long time. Some of them... one of them in particular, really... considered us toys. I... allied myself with her.
[This part... this part is the most painful part, and he can feel his resolve breaking. How can he tell her this? ... But he's come this far. He has to push on.]
There was someone on my team... her name was Mai. She was... beautiful, strong-willed, kind, and always was there to help other people. I... I... I fell in love with her, but she didn't feel the same way. I wanted to protect her, to keep her happy, at least, even if I couldn't keep Kouta happy. And if I couldn't keep her happy, I could at least keep her safe. It... was bad. I joined with my brother at Yggdrasill to try to push back the forest, to keep her ignorant of the real danger, even though I thought his plan wouldn't work. I allied myself with that Overlord, thinking that if she could get the Golden Fruit then she'd at least let me have what I thought was 'mine'.
[... He's aware how disturbing that sounds, and he bows his head briefly before continuing. He has to get this all out before he lets her react.]
I've always been taught to not let anything get in the way of my goals, and that the purpose of having power was to help those less fortunate. I thought that if I could keep her safe, then one day she'd thank me. She'd call me a hero, and she'd love me back. ... But that didn't happen. The Golden Fruit was placed inside of her, and... people got in my way. They tried to stop me. My brother got in my way, and I killed him and knocked him into the river. Kouta, our team leader and my best friend tried to knock sense into me, and I killed him, too. And when I got back from that, I'd found that the man I'd left her with had taken the Golden Fruit out of her, and she was dead.
[He scrubs the back of his hand over his eyes, trying to keep himself from crying. It's not going to help him any. Slowly, painfully, he lifts his head so he can look Rise in the eyes.]
... I'm... I'm sorry, Rise-san. I didn't want to tell you... I... I shouldn't have done any of that, but... I did. I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't want you to think I was a bad person, but I am. And... I'm sorry, for as little as that matters.
no subject
From what I've heard... this is just something that happens. A world nears its end, and the Helheim Forest spreads to it. Those that are left fight to possess the Golden Fruit... which is an item that's got near-limitless power. Essentially, whoever has it becomes a god. Once people found that out... a lot of people tried to go after it, to use it either for their own power or to save people.
I didn't. Not directly. The strongest Inves are called Overlords, and they and the Inves are what remains of the previous civilization to be taken over by the forest. When you eat a fruit from the forest, you're changed into one of those. That's... what happened to the previous leader of the team I was on, though we didn't know it until after he'd been killed. But the Overlords... they're not human. Most of them have been fighting for a long time. Some of them... one of them in particular, really... considered us toys. I... allied myself with her.
[This part... this part is the most painful part, and he can feel his resolve breaking. How can he tell her this? ... But he's come this far. He has to push on.]
There was someone on my team... her name was Mai. She was... beautiful, strong-willed, kind, and always was there to help other people. I... I... I fell in love with her, but she didn't feel the same way. I wanted to protect her, to keep her happy, at least, even if I couldn't keep Kouta happy. And if I couldn't keep her happy, I could at least keep her safe. It... was bad. I joined with my brother at Yggdrasill to try to push back the forest, to keep her ignorant of the real danger, even though I thought his plan wouldn't work. I allied myself with that Overlord, thinking that if she could get the Golden Fruit then she'd at least let me have what I thought was 'mine'.
[... He's aware how disturbing that sounds, and he bows his head briefly before continuing. He has to get this all out before he lets her react.]
I've always been taught to not let anything get in the way of my goals, and that the purpose of having power was to help those less fortunate. I thought that if I could keep her safe, then one day she'd thank me. She'd call me a hero, and she'd love me back. ... But that didn't happen. The Golden Fruit was placed inside of her, and... people got in my way. They tried to stop me. My brother got in my way, and I killed him and knocked him into the river. Kouta, our team leader and my best friend tried to knock sense into me, and I killed him, too. And when I got back from that, I'd found that the man I'd left her with had taken the Golden Fruit out of her, and she was dead.
[He scrubs the back of his hand over his eyes, trying to keep himself from crying. It's not going to help him any. Slowly, painfully, he lifts his head so he can look Rise in the eyes.]
... I'm... I'm sorry, Rise-san. I didn't want to tell you... I... I shouldn't have done any of that, but... I did. I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't want you to think I was a bad person, but I am. And... I'm sorry, for as little as that matters.